Maybe it’s the bad habit of leaving this discipline into the wee hours of the morning wherein my poor brain is shutting down… But I’m finding it hard this week to find things to write about… where God is, where He has made himself known in my day. It’s tempting to claim He hasn’t been there.
In my highly esteemed opinion of my own wisdom, it becomes startlingly tempting to declare God’s absence, when really, it’s that same egocentric blindness that keeps me from seeing his presence in the first place!
Today, I saw Him in the little things…
The way that my daughter lights up when she sees the people she loves… the way that delight, no matter how bad your day has been, brings delight to those same people.
I wonder if that’s the way God’s delight in us works.
I mean… in this broken world, as we get older, our enthusiasm is dampened. I don’t know why, exactly, and it’s tragic, but somewhere along the line, someone takes it upon themselves to inform us that such pure, unadulterated delight in the presence of another is “inappropriate”.
Maybe a well-meaning parent, tells you that you are making the guest feel “awkward”.
Maybe the guest is off-put by your squealing and holds you at arms length.
Or maybe it happened when you learned that your delight made your mommy and daddy so happy, and you started using it as a ploy to get out of trouble… and then your parents, seeing through your little ploy, and loving you enough to administer the discipline that you needed anyways (and I hope not more than you needed) did not respond like you hoped. Maybe this quieted the internal squeal of delight.
Maybe it happened when the people you were happy to see hurt you.. and suddenly you were just a little less happy to see them.
Whatever the case, somehow, in this broken world, whether we stumble over the broken shards around us and receive wounds, or something inside of us breaks, and we start manipulating or misusing emotion, we grow up to be reserved adults and young adults…
We have learned a modicum of respectability. We know how to be proper… We know the appropriate amount of enthusiasm to show in a given situation, lest we be considered immature, or out of control, or worse still, capricious!
and this restraint translates into an inaccurate portrayal of our joy in seeing the people we love. Often we overcome this restraint with the people we learn to trust the most… our spouses, children, sometimes parents….
but generally we hold at bay the true depth of our emotions.
We don’t naturally experience the pure unadulterated joy that another may take in our presence the way we are privileged to experience it when someone like my daughter shares it with us.
And when we do, we can’t help but be warmed and cheered from the inside out.
Her hugs don’t come from a place of coercion or social
responsibility… they erupt out of a heart that loves you
and longs to be in contact with you and communicate in her own very special little way, just how glad she is that you’re there.
I wonder if we were able to let our guard down enough to feel the delight that God feels when we come into His presence… would we be able to resist the joy that would well up inside of us?
Would we run towards him with our arms wide open, in expectation?