I suppose it’s fitting that the very first day of lent I have failed at one of the things that I have determined to take on.
Today is Ash Wednesday.
starting today, I am making the perfunctory sacrifice of snack food. I am taking on two new disciplines. The first is a devoted from of prayer, praying through daily prayers (as found on http://www.commonprayer.net )
The second is devoting time to being obedient with the gift God has given me of writing, and returning to this daily blog.
So… I suppose it is fitting that on a day when i feel I am so incapable of seeing God anywhere in this world around me, I would simply fail to participate in my two new disciplines of lent.
So… It is officially no longer ash wednesday… Now it is Thursday, and lent has already begun. Nevertheless, better late than never.
Today has been a day that has served to illuminate the brokeness of this world.
Perhaps that is as fitting of a start to lent as there could be.
I fasted for 24 hours, begging God to be faithful and sustain the life of a precious infant. My fast ended at 8:30 tonight, at which time I also discovered that this infant had died.
Earlier in this same day I got frustrated about something so inconsequential that it doesn’t even bear repeating. Then I entered an environment where I am working incredibly hard on conquering my negative attitude. I failed miserably. I got discouraged, I got frustrated, I got angry, and projected phenomenal negativity.
Then I was broken about my own failure and took it out on people close to me.
I tried to do good, and ended up doing my worst.
Today is marked by the darkness of a broken world
Today… I was clearly reminded of why we desperately need a savior to come into this broken world and repair the irreparable fractures of creation. The fractures where a person trying their best does their worst. Where no amount of faith, hope, fasting, or praying can effectively compel God to spare the life of a helpless infant. Where the psalmist cries out from the depths of despair.
And so begins the long journey of lent.
out of pain and desperation we cry, “come, Lord Jesus, come!”