The kind of fierce, quiet, deep, soulful jealousy I witnessed from you today was actually an incredibly beautiful thing. Somehow we have culturally turned jealousy into a virtual curse word.
Don’t get me wrong… I know jealousy can go too far, and can become a controlling thing.
But the kind of jealousy that you showed tonight was not a possessive objective thing. What I saw in what you felt for the girl you so clearly loved was the sort of jealousy that said, “You are mine. I want to give you everything I have and everything I am. I want to cherish you, and I don’t want you to be distracted from what I want to lavish on you.”
It looked to me like the sort of jealousy that says, “I love you so fiercely that I can’t bear to imagine someone counterfeiting what we have. I can’t bear the thought of a lustful attraction distracting you from the deep love that I feel for you.”
It was so subtle… a look in your eyes and a gentle murmur… but it was evident. It was jealousy… and it was beautiful… there was such a look of safety in her eyes when she realized your jealousy and its source. She took delight in being yours… like she knew there was no better place she could be… no greater love she could know… like she knew that being yours meant that you’d give everything up for her. Not that you’d give everything to *keep* her like she was some object… but that you’d give everything up to care for her and nurture her and bring out the best in her.
I love watching you two interact. I love the deep love that is evident between you.
Thank you for that picture of healthy jealousy that caught my eye in the first place.
I really believe that gives us a picture of what it means for God to be a jealous God… jealous over us. That he loves us soo deeply and has given everything for us… he doesn’t want us to be distracted by counterfeits or, worse, things that promise love and offer only emptiness and betrayal. He know that His love for us is real and deeper than anything else we could even imagine… Knowing that, how could He bear to see us mistakenly look for that love in any other place… The wasted effort on something that can’t fulfill when we could be spending it where we could be fulfilled… that hurts our father….
Just like the idea of the girl you love looking for the amazing connection you have somewhere else pains you, because you know it will hurt her, our Father hurts when he sees us opening our hearts to things that cannot protect it the way he can, does, and wants to!
Thank you. Thank you for showing me that jealousy, when it is a part of a healthy relationship, in healthy amounts, is actually something that nurtures the beauty of your beloved and your relationship. Thank you for helping me to understand this more difficult characteristic of our God!